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Don Burns Homepage
Thursday, 21 April 2005



According to the news this morning the South Carolina Legislature has made cock fighting a felony. 'Bout time. It's a bit of a nasty sport (if you can call it that) to watch a couple of chickens peck each other to death.

At the same time they also decided to make wife beating a misdemeanor.

One of their congressmen explained to a critic that we just didn't understand the facts.

And the facts are: There are far more chicken fatalities in South Carolina every day than there are battered wives cases, so in an effort to lower the chicken mortality rate we raised chicken fights to a felony and lowered wife beatings to a misdeameanor. Perfectly logical.

It's just a matter of priorities.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:40 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 22 April 2005 7:42 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 20 April 2005



Having mistakenly thought that the nation was in no great danger despite the Bush victory in November I'd lowered my guard and neglected this blog for the last month. And look what happens.

Tom Delay crawls out from under a rock and wants to remove the Supreme Court and replace it with Conservative Congressmen who know how to judge. After all, they made Tom their leader so they must be right.

His latest victim is Justice Anthony Kennedy, a moderate Reagan appointee to the court who has failed to make the appropriate court decisions according to Congressman Delay.

The Congressman wants to visit the part in the Constitution where "judges can only continue to serve so long as they serve with good behavior". Presumeably un-Delay decisions constitute bad behavior.

Considering the source and the ethics of the source we have seen this before. Mr. Delay should be thankful Congress doesn't play by the same rules (at least until he changes them). Then again, if he can remove justices from the Court, why not unqualified members of Congress and perhaps he should straighten out the President too. We'll just let Tom run the show and we can all go home and sleep with a revolver under our pillow.

Whoever said Joe McCarthy was dead and buried needs to go re-check the gravesite in Wisconsin.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 12:20 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 20 April 2005 12:25 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 23 March 2005



With all of the problems in the world the press and the government seem hell bent on billing the case of a brain dead girl in Florida who purportedly wants to die as the main event.

Meanwhile a student goes on a killing spree in a school in Minnesota, more die in Iraq, the debt increases, the trade deficit increases, the price of gas increases, the amount of oil from Iraq decreases and more jobs go overseas. But these are the secondary stories. Go figure.

The smaller, cheaper, less intrusive government seems to be bigger, more expensive, and more intrusive than the one we got rid of and doesn't seem to be doing much right either.

So much for priorities.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:18 AM EST
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Wednesday, 16 March 2005



All this time we've been worried about what's going to happen to Social Security when the baby boomers hit and "lo and behold", the University of Illinois at Chicago up and saves us with a report.

According to the professors we aren't going to live as long as we thought we were for one simple reason. All our prosperity has translated into fat. We are eating ourselves to death at a rate that is going to reverse the longevity trend and subtract about five years from the lifespan at the rate we're going.

So "can the private accounts" and pass the feedbag. The more we get, the more we eat. The more we eat the quicker we're gone. The quicker we're gone the less we cost.

Sounds like a plan to me.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:31 PM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 16 March 2005 9:33 PM EST
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Thursday, 10 March 2005



I see in the news where it seems some fellow on trial for alledgedly knocking off his wife down in Arkansas has been sending love letters to a certain Ms. Murphy Smith from his jail cell. That is till prosecutors put a stop to it by issueing a subpeona for the infamous Ms. Smith to appear for the trial.

She appeared but didn't have much to say being she turned out to be a dog. A shih-tsu to be exact. Having one of my own I can speak to their independent nature, closed mouth attitude and sense of loyalty. A shih-tsu after all will not rat you out.

It takes a human for that sort of business. Preferably a guilty one.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 12:05 AM EST
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Wednesday, 9 March 2005



Looks like we're about to get some changes in the bankruptcy laws if the Republicans in Congress have their way .

According to the Democrats the new changes will help credit card companies, creditors and anybody else who is owed money to collect from people who don't have it by limiting their ability to shelter resources and assets they don't have to begin with.

For a change, the Republicans agree. They believe that like Jesus and the miracle of the loaves and fishes, they too can turn water to wine and create something from nothing. And for their first trick they are going to show how you can get blood out of a stone by just squeezing it a little harder.

My take is that more of nothin' is still nothin'.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:33 PM EST
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Thursday, 3 March 2005



The latest rumor out of Wonderland D.C. is Condi Rice is being considered by prominent Bush Republicans as a candidate for president in '08. I suspect they were overcome by her uniform of the black power suit with stilletto heels that she wears when she reviews the troops.

Considering that the President is the brightest bulb in the room only because he makes sure all the other bulbs are even dimmer, it makes a lot of sense that the Wizard of Oz from Montana will have to be Condi's vice President too. After all, we all know who's behind the curtain.

Of course then we will have to worry that Condi in her uniform will be too much for Dick and his pacemakers.

Just gets curioser and curioser.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 7:09 AM EST
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Wednesday, 2 March 2005



Went to Europe to get a break from politics and wasn't there three days and the President followed me over, I assume to give his side of the story. So I turned around and came home and not two days later he follows me back here. Just can't seem to shake the guy.

The domestic spin on how the President did wooing the old folks in Europe doesn't seem to match the European take but then they don't have some American's insight that can read between the lines, even the lines the President botches.

See the President talks in code and those that know the code know what he is saying and understand and the rest of us hope he does too, we're just not as confident cause we don't know the code. But the Europeans don't even know there is a code so they conclude that he doesn't know what he is doing because he doesn't make any sense. That's why they humored him and then sent him home.

The general feeling over there was they are thankful he's ours, not theirs and we can keep him. Just be careful not to let him play with matches or pointed sticks.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:37 AM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 2 March 2005 1:07 PM EST
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Sunday, 6 February 2005



After considerable time, experience and observation I have concluded that there is a principle difference between a dog, a cat and a man.

If you feed, water and lavish affection on a dog, the dog will always treat you as if you were a God.

If you feed, water and care for a cat, the cat will automatically assume you think "it" is a God.

And, if you feed, water and lavish affection on your fellow man who claims he was created in God's likeness, all bets are off.

It also explains the popularity of dogs.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:28 PM EST
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Saturday, 5 February 2005



"He's back."

Howard Dean, former Governor of Vermont, Presidential candidate and outspoken critic of the Bush Administration who's presidential campaign verbally self-imploded this time last year is on his way back as he's about to win Chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee. (Providing he doesn't say anything in the meantime.)

For Democrats it'a akin to putting Harry Truman in charge of the Democratic Party.

For Republicans who were hoping Marie Osmond, Millard Fillmore or Barney Fife might get the job, it's also akin to putting Harry Truman in charge of the Democratic Party.

And for the viewers, voters and pundits who thought the next four years would be boring and dull, a running battle between "Dr. Know" at the DNC and "Mr. Infallability" in the White House should prove to be pretty entertaining.

So damn the truth, get out your checkbooks and hold on to your saddlehorns. I suspect the ride is just beginning.

Whoever said politics was boring?





Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:48 AM EST
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