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Don Burns Homepage
Sunday, 6 February 2005



After considerable time, experience and observation I have concluded that there is a principle difference between a dog, a cat and a man.

If you feed, water and lavish affection on a dog, the dog will always treat you as if you were a God.

If you feed, water and care for a cat, the cat will automatically assume you think "it" is a God.

And, if you feed, water and lavish affection on your fellow man who claims he was created in God's likeness, all bets are off.

It also explains the popularity of dogs.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:28 PM EST
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Saturday, 5 February 2005



"He's back."

Howard Dean, former Governor of Vermont, Presidential candidate and outspoken critic of the Bush Administration who's presidential campaign verbally self-imploded this time last year is on his way back as he's about to win Chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee. (Providing he doesn't say anything in the meantime.)

For Democrats it'a akin to putting Harry Truman in charge of the Democratic Party.

For Republicans who were hoping Marie Osmond, Millard Fillmore or Barney Fife might get the job, it's also akin to putting Harry Truman in charge of the Democratic Party.

And for the viewers, voters and pundits who thought the next four years would be boring and dull, a running battle between "Dr. Know" at the DNC and "Mr. Infallability" in the White House should prove to be pretty entertaining.

So damn the truth, get out your checkbooks and hold on to your saddlehorns. I suspect the ride is just beginning.

Whoever said politics was boring?





Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:48 AM EST
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Friday, 4 February 2005



The President is off on day two of his campaign swing to persuade the country to take up his reform of Social Security. Having raised the issue and scared hell out of everyone in the process he's now admonishing his opponents not to raise questions and scare hell out of everybody.

Ronald Reagan was known as the "Teflon President" because issues just slid off him and Bill Clinton was known as "Slick Willie" because he was able to slip off of issues but they don't hold a candle "Mr. Infallability". He slips on his own issues and then convinces you it's your fault.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:42 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 4 February 2005 11:44 PM EST
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Thursday, 3 February 2005



The President gave his State of the Union Address last nite. Everything is good. We sort of expected it would be. After all, he is talking about his own infallability here.

But to his credit he also talked about the impending problem with Social Security and the fact that it will go belly up in 40 or 50 years (depending on who's figures you believe).

His solution is "personalized" accounts as opposed to "privatized" accounts (which are one and the same thing) because "personalized" sounds and sells better than "privatized". In both cases these accounts would be "personally privatized" to the Stock Market. Republicans love the idea.
Generally anytime someone gives Republicans money to play with they like the idea.

Democrats do not like the idea. They remember the last time the Republicans played Stock Market with their money in 1929. They never got it back.





Posted by donburnshomepage at 12:35 PM EST
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Wednesday, 2 February 2005



The elections have come and gone in Iraq and hopefully there will be some peace that may follow. The President is optimistic but then he has to be. After all, this was all his idea.

Some people see him as a hero or a champion for having established some form of democracy in Iraq.

Ronald Reagan's policies did the same thing with the entire Soviet Union without firing a shot or losing an American soldiers life, and they did have WMD's. Lots of them. And our economy prospered.

Bill Clinton stopped an ethnic civil war in the Balkans and established a peace that endures to this day, and he did it without losing a single American soldier. And our national debt went down.

The present President Bush after almost three and a half years still can't get the guy that blew up the Twin Towers, invaded an already decimated country that had nothing to do with it on the pretext that it did, and now needs democratic elections to give him an exit stategy. And he did it with only 1,436 American deaths, 10,502 American wounded, 160 coalition deaths, between 16 and 18,000 Iraqi civilian deaths, and $300 billion dollars of your grandchildrens money, so far.....and the economy, your jobs and your money are now in China.

And for that we are supposed to cheer.

I'm with Forrest Gump on this one, " Stupid is as stupid does."




Posted by donburnshomepage at 2:18 PM EST
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Friday, 28 January 2005



President says he needs "another" $80 billion dollars from the congress to pay for the $80 billion dollar "wars" that will soon cost over $300 billion. Fortunately we have lots of money that our grandchildren have generously and patriotically lent to us. 'Course we assume by "wars" he means the ones in Iraq and Afghanistan?

And anyway, by Don Rumsfelds calculation the upcoming "wars" in Iran and Syria can easily be covered by recalling to active duty the still living membership of the VFW in Toledo, Ohio with a backup (if needed) from the Boy Scouts of America. Besides, the Iranians and Syrians are going to pay for the cost of that war with money from their goat and sheep sales after the war for their liberation and democratic elections.

And with Condi Rice in the State Department to "explain" it to the rest of the uneducated and misled world, what could possibly go wrong?



Posted by donburnshomepage at 1:03 AM EST
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Thursday, 27 January 2005



The voting has started for the Iraqi expatriates (those Iraqis smart enough to be living outside Iraq).

Of course they have a distinct advantage. They do know whose running, they do know where the polls are and they do believe no one is going to shoot them on the way into the voting booth.

As for the poor souls who will be voting "in country" this weekend, they will be voting for secret candidates who want to remain secret because they don't want to be shot, and they will be voting at the secret polling stations which want to remain secret because they don't want to be blown up, and they will be voting in secret because they want to live to tell about it.

And what are they voting for? A temporary government of secretly elected unknowns who will have to meet in secret to decide how to organize the next secret election for the real non-secret government that at some point will have to run the country.

Democracy....... courtesy of the democratic folks who also bring you the Electoral College every four years.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:56 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 28 January 2005 12:33 AM EST
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Thursday, 20 January 2005



Condi Rice sure seems to be a glutton for punishment.

Having been one of the main architects of the President's foriegn policy as National Security Advisor she is now ready to step forward and become the Secretary of State. That means essentially she can now try and persuade the rest of the world that our foriegn policy really isn't as stupid as they think it is.

She can do this by convincing them that they are no longer as stupid as she once thought they were now that she has her new title. I'm sure they will be impressed.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 10:31 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 28 January 2005 12:31 AM EST
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Wednesday, 19 January 2005



Having won his first election to the White House by an underwhelming margin the President is already sending clues about his exit strategies from Iraq and Afghanistan. Seems they've finally figured out you can get just about three years out of an invasion before it all goes belly up and people start asking questions. So let's hold elections, declare a democracy or two and then get the troops out and off to a new country.... or two.

And wouldn't you know, Fate has placed Syria and Iran on the opposite sides of Iraq and given one Saddam Hussein's "weapons of mass destruction" and the other the potential to build them, which is all you need these days to "shock and awe" your way into democratizing somebody else's country. How convenient.

And we can still save China and Korea for Jeb in four years. Sounds like a plan to me.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 1:13 AM EST
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Friday, 7 January 2005



According to the latest numbers the President won the vast majority of Evangelical Christians in the last election. And those same numbers say they equal about 40% of the electorate. For those that are not enlightened, Evanglicals pretty much believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible and many believe Armageddon is right around the corner.

I've done some reading and calculating on this and according to the Good Book when those "end times" come there's supposed to be 144,000 that are good enough for saving. Everyone else is an also ran.

That means we've got a disappointment of biblical proportions in the works when the 40 million folks who all think they got a ticket show up for those 144,000 seats only to find they've overbooked.

And with only two destinations available, a free ticket to anywhere else isn't an option.



Posted by donburnshomepage at 2:58 PM EST
Updated: Saturday, 8 January 2005 9:24 AM EST
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