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Don Burns Homepage
Friday, 17 September 2004



They are upset in Washington again. This time it's over Iran's (as in next door to Iraq) work on an enrichment plant for nuclear material. The administration fears it is one of the steps on the way to WMD's........ It is.

Iran says they would never do such a thing which is probably not true.........They would.

We need a reason to expand the military, detract public attention from Iraq and at the same time get more troops into the Middle East..........This works.

And their already working on next year's sequel entitled "Pyongyang or Bust".


Posted by donburnshomepage at 3:27 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, 16 September 2004



When it comes to the government, the way you can tell the bloom is coming off the rose is they form a Commission and make a secret report to "leak" to the media.

Well.....we must be there 'cause there's a secret report and the media knows about it and what it says isn't very rosey. Seems the "democratization" of Iraq is working about as well as the "vietnamization" of Vietnam did.

According to the report, the best we can expect a year from now is "tenuous stability". That's political talk for "send more troops, you're going to be here a while".

Second best is "political fragmentation". That's political talk for "the place is going to come apart at the seams".

The worst scenario is "civil war", which is political talk for "the place is going to come apart at the seams".

For those of you that may wonder what "coming apart at the seams" looks like,............... turn on your tv."


Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:18 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 17 September 2004 2:55 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 15 September 2004



In the "How To" shows Martha Stewart was something of a leader. Whether you like her or not it's hard to argue with her personal work ethic, even if she may be difficult to work with.

Martha seems to be getting ready to teach us a new "How To" in "Martha Goes to Jail" and it's sequel, "Martha on the Lam". Hopefully we will see taped shows of Martha baking a cake with a file in it, knitting a rope out through the cell window or carving a .38 Special from a bar of soap.

We may even have the makings of a new Reality TV Show, " Doing Time with Martha" where we will see daily tidbits of Martha going over the wall. taking out the screws ( that's prison talk for guards), and baking a broccoli souffle' for the prison boxing team. Gotta beat some of the stuff that's on tv now.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:59 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 16 September 2004 12:30 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 14 September 2004



Just what we need. Another war. Seems the Winneman Wintu Indian Tribe out in California is doing war dances around the campfires over the expansion of the Shasta Dam that will inundate their tribal lands.

They have met in their war council and are considering taking up bows and arrows against the United States. There are only 125 of them, if you include the women and children, but they are determined and have put on their war paint. Fortunately this is just the type of crisis the Bush Doctrine of pre-emptive warfare is designed to deal with.

They have identified themselves as the enemy, they aren't real imported Americans from Europe so they must be foriegners and therefore suspect and they have the potential to tip their arrows with WMD's (white man's devices).

A B-52 carpet bombing followed by several days of artillery and helicopter gunship strikes should do the job. It will eliminate a potential terrorist cell, be good for Halliburton and therefore the economy, give the administration a much needed victory in the war on terror and the timing just before the election is perfect. It's Republican Christmas in September.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 12:32 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 13 September 2004



Things seem to be spinning out of control. The new government is not in charge. The Americans are hated. Everytime we blow something up that we call an enemy stronghold it is followed pictures of women and children on the way to the hospital. The foriegn community has been intimidated out of the country. Insurgents are everywhere. The generals say victory is within reach, send more troops, Our government says "stay the course". The President from Texas is leading the way to a free and democratic Vietnam.

And you thought I was going to say.................

Posted by donburnshomepage at 10:20 AM EDT
Wednesday, 8 September 2004




What do you get when you roll a C- minus student with Texas Logic, and a Voodoo Foriegn Policy all in one person? Answer: Iraq.

The first milestone has been reached. One thousand dead GI's in Iraq and climbing. The next plateau will be when we equal the 3,000+ number killed in the twin towers.

Obviously the President thinks this makes Americans safe from terrorism. At least that's the latest spin. Whatever happened to the WMD's?

One is hard pressed to figure out how conquering Iraq makes us safer from Saudi's headquartered in Afghanistan who came here by way of Canada but then it's true that Americans aren't being blown up in America. In fact the terrorists don't even have to come here. We are hand delivering Americans to them via the US military to be blown up in Iraq. Go figure.





Posted by donburnshomepage at 7:37 AM EDT
Tuesday, 7 September 2004



The Kerry campaign still can't seem to get away from the Swift Boat controversy so they are going to explore a new strategy and try something that works.

First, they are going to admit that the only reason John Kerry went to Vietnam was to make fake movies of himself in combat for the folks back home. Worked for Ronald Reagan.

Second, he's going to admit that he never showed up for duty half the time and when he did he spent most of that drinking and running around. Worked for George W. Bush.

And third, he's going to confess that he really didn't like the Navy, didn't really want to enlist and wished he'd avoided the draft. Worked for Bill Clinton and Dick Cheney.

If you can't lick 'em, join 'em.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 2:09 PM EDT
Monday, 6 September 2004



Definition:
Labor Day. A day when everybody gets the day off except the people at Walmart, convenience stores, gas stations, restaurants and most of the other service industries. For them Labor Day means just that. Another day of labor.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:47 PM EDT
Sunday, 5 September 2004


Having Hurricane Charlie behind them, Hurricane Frances over them and Hurricane Ivan churning their way in the Atlantic it's no wonder that Florida is sick and tired of Hurricanes. And we're only half way through the Hurricane season. There is an old saying about too much of a good thing being bad, but what about too much of a bad thing.

Of course as soon as the wind and rain is gone the Sunshine State will have to deal with the second plague. The return of the politicians who will try to fix everything. It never rains but what it pours.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 10:15 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 6 September 2004 9:05 AM EDT
Saturday, 4 September 2004



Governor "Arnold" from California is at it again. First he sees 'girly men" in the state legislature. Now he sees tanks and communists troops in Austria when he was a child. Not in his childhood and not in his part of Austria according to the historians.
But then he was saying it at the Republican National Convention and they are prepared to believe there is at least a division of Soviet troops still hiding out in Milwaukee.

If he starts seeing Martians or "invisible " aliens we'll have to worry about panicked Republicans and it's probably time to lock up the state treasury and call in the guys in the white coats. Until then it's probably safe to believe he saw it in a Schwarzenneger movie.



Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:54 AM EDT

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