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Don Burns Homepage
Friday, 6 August 2004



Ever notice that hot dogs come ten to a package but they only sell the rolls in eight packs.

Why is this? There is no logic too it. The math doesn't add up. What am I supposed to do with the two naked hot dogs? Eat them uncovered. That's why I got the buns in the first place. I like them that way. Should I get another package of hot dog rolls? Now I've tripled my problem with six useless empty hot dog holders.

It is a puzzlement in need of a presidential commission to study it. Perhaps the same folks in the government that figured out how to fund an increase in government expenditures with a decrease in government income while convincing us we've never been better off for can figure out how to cover up ten hot dogs with eight rolls and make us all believe we've got a bakers dozen.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:43 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 9 August 2004 7:35 AM EDT
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Thursday, 5 August 2004





Of all of the inventions in the history of mankind, that single most profound and influential of all mechanisms that defines us for what we are, is universally utilized, serves as our moral guidepost and restraint in times of peril and consternation and proclaims us by our own definition to therefore be "civilized", ........is not the the telephone, not the radio, not the television, not the airplane or the atomic bomb, nor even our institutions of education, government or our religious convictions.

It is the zipper.

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but human nature is its father and unintended consequences are always its offspring.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:22 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 5 August 2004 6:28 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 4 August 2004




Economics 101

Gone to a lumber yard to buy a 2x4 or sheet of plywood lately? Gone into sticker shock when you saw the pricetag?

It's an economic principle called "supply and demand". Seems the folks that want 'em most got the extra money to pay for them.

And who might that be?

Why it's the US government and they're using your tax dollars to buy lumber to ship to Iraq to replace all the stuff they blew up last year (with your other tax dollars).

Some say that we blew that stuff up so we could control the oil from Iraq and presumably keep the price down...... Been to the gas pump lately?

Does this make any sense?

According to the folks in oil, lumber and the White House it does.

Guess it all depends on where you sit and whether or not you need a 2x4.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 7:38 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 4 August 2004 7:45 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 3 August 2004



America is the only place where the government has spent the last seventy years giving farmers millions of tax dollars not to plant corn, raise pigs or milk cows in order to keep prices high and keep farmers in business for doing nothing.

Why? Because it's hard to get people to go into farming.

Then they come and take the farm after two years for unpaid property taxes.

Leaves you to wonder why we're not all starving.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:39 AM EDT
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Monday, 2 August 2004



It's up, it's down, it's coming or going, it's inflated or deflated. It's the economy stupid!

Well, whatever. It's who has the money and who doesn't. Let's look at the who doesn'ts first.

The Have -nots: Government doesn't have the money. The Federal government claims they gave it back to the people in tax breaks to spend during the last two years. They did. Now it's gone so they don't have it and are borrowing more. Then the government spent the money they no longer had anyway so they have even less of what they don't have. In other words, they owe too, and they it owe to.......
The Haves: Who.......................... aren't talking. They don't have to. They already have the money.





Posted by donburnshomepage at 12:00 AM EDT
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Friday, 30 July 2004



What in heaven's name is a "girly man"?

Apparently Governor Schwarzenneger knows but he's not saying, at least not in English. It also appears the Democrats in the California Legislature know too, because they took offense to it, but they're not saying, apparently so we won't know how bad it is. I suspect the President knows but can't pronounce it. And I'm sure the vice-President knows but even he finds it too disgusting to say in public or to a Member of Congress. And I have no doubt that our intelligence services also know, however like everything else they claim to know, they have it wrong.

This one may go down in history with the Kennedy Assasination Conspiracy and the Roswell Incident Coverup as one of the great unsolved mysteries of our age......... I hope so.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:30 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 30 July 2004 6:32 AM EDT
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Thursday, 29 July 2004



The Democrats are on a roll. The Convention is winding down. The campaign is under way. The money is rolling in. The polls are going up. It's "Morning in America" all over again.

The Republicans are on a roll. The Convention is getting ready to wind up. The campaign is under way. The money is rolling in. The polls are going up. It's "Mourning in America" all over again.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 5:14 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 28 July 2004



Theresa Heinz Kerry is taking some heat for telling a reporter to ?Shove it? after a touchy Q & A session.

Some say she went over the top. They are Republicans who are ?shocked? by the demeanor of a potential First Lady. Others say she did not go far enough. They are Republicans that are "disappointed" that she can not at least come up to the level of our vice-President.

As for the Democrats, some are ?shocked? that she couldn?t at least come up to the level of the vice-President. The rest are "disappointed" that she didn?t shoot him.



Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:14 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 28 July 2004 6:19 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 27 July 2004



Sandy Berger, the former National Security Advisor under President Clinton has gotten himself into a fix. According to a leak from John Ashcroft?s above reproach Justice Department, ?in preparing for testimony for the 9-11 Commission it seems Mr. Berger walked off with some confidential intelligence information while going through some archives?. Republicans want him prosecuted. Democrats think it?s a ?tempest in a teapot? and of no importance.

Personally, in view of the value placed on our intelligence information by the 9-11 Commission?s report which in effect said it ?our intelligence data wasn?t worth a bucket of warm spit?, I think we should commend Mr. Berger for taking the time to take out the trash.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:20 AM EDT
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Monday, 26 July 2004



The excitement is starting in Beantown. Boston after all claims to be the birthplace of the American revolution and the Democrats meeting there this week are hoping for another overthrow of a government.

According to the polls the President and Senator Kerry are neck and neck and the great majority of voters have already made up their minds on how they are going to vote.

Democrats and Bush haters of course are dumfounded that anyone with an IQ higher than the President would vote for him. Republicans on the other hand support the President because they want to believe he is right in his policies and they believe he shares their ideas and values.

All of which goes to explain the closeness of the polling data. It is boiling down to whether you want to think the cup is half full or half empty. As for the Nader people, they don't think we have a cup.



Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:51 AM EDT
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