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Don Burns Homepage
Friday, 30 July 2004



What in heaven's name is a "girly man"?

Apparently Governor Schwarzenneger knows but he's not saying, at least not in English. It also appears the Democrats in the California Legislature know too, because they took offense to it, but they're not saying, apparently so we won't know how bad it is. I suspect the President knows but can't pronounce it. And I'm sure the vice-President knows but even he finds it too disgusting to say in public or to a Member of Congress. And I have no doubt that our intelligence services also know, however like everything else they claim to know, they have it wrong.

This one may go down in history with the Kennedy Assasination Conspiracy and the Roswell Incident Coverup as one of the great unsolved mysteries of our age......... I hope so.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:30 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 30 July 2004 6:32 AM EDT
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Thursday, 29 July 2004



The Democrats are on a roll. The Convention is winding down. The campaign is under way. The money is rolling in. The polls are going up. It's "Morning in America" all over again.

The Republicans are on a roll. The Convention is getting ready to wind up. The campaign is under way. The money is rolling in. The polls are going up. It's "Mourning in America" all over again.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 5:14 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 28 July 2004



Theresa Heinz Kerry is taking some heat for telling a reporter to ?Shove it? after a touchy Q & A session.

Some say she went over the top. They are Republicans who are ?shocked? by the demeanor of a potential First Lady. Others say she did not go far enough. They are Republicans that are "disappointed" that she can not at least come up to the level of our vice-President.

As for the Democrats, some are ?shocked? that she couldn?t at least come up to the level of the vice-President. The rest are "disappointed" that she didn?t shoot him.



Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:14 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 28 July 2004 6:19 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 27 July 2004



Sandy Berger, the former National Security Advisor under President Clinton has gotten himself into a fix. According to a leak from John Ashcroft?s above reproach Justice Department, ?in preparing for testimony for the 9-11 Commission it seems Mr. Berger walked off with some confidential intelligence information while going through some archives?. Republicans want him prosecuted. Democrats think it?s a ?tempest in a teapot? and of no importance.

Personally, in view of the value placed on our intelligence information by the 9-11 Commission?s report which in effect said it ?our intelligence data wasn?t worth a bucket of warm spit?, I think we should commend Mr. Berger for taking the time to take out the trash.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:20 AM EDT
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Monday, 26 July 2004



The excitement is starting in Beantown. Boston after all claims to be the birthplace of the American revolution and the Democrats meeting there this week are hoping for another overthrow of a government.

According to the polls the President and Senator Kerry are neck and neck and the great majority of voters have already made up their minds on how they are going to vote.

Democrats and Bush haters of course are dumfounded that anyone with an IQ higher than the President would vote for him. Republicans on the other hand support the President because they want to believe he is right in his policies and they believe he shares their ideas and values.

All of which goes to explain the closeness of the polling data. It is boiling down to whether you want to think the cup is half full or half empty. As for the Nader people, they don't think we have a cup.



Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:51 AM EDT
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Friday, 23 July 2004



The latest from Washington is that according to passport records Iran may actually have been the haven for the 9-11 hijackers instead of Iraq as the President had previously believed.

The administration immediately put a positive spin on the announcement by pointing out that it is a common mistake for the President to get the two countries confused what with them both being two syllable countries starting with an "I". The President has vowed to correct the "oversight" just as soon as he can re-assign our troops.

International reaction was swift as military units and national guards were called up in India and Iowa in preparation for an impending American invasion.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 4:30 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 23 July 2004 4:33 AM EDT
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The latest from Washington is that according to passport records Iran may actually have been the haven for the 9-11 hijackers instead of Iraq as the President had previously believed.

The administration immediately put a positive spin on the announcement by pointing out that it is a common mistake for the President to get the two countries confused what with them both being two syllable countries starting with an "I". The President has vowed to correct the "oversight" just as soon as he can re-assign our troops.

International reaction was swift as military units and national guards were called up in India and Iowa in preparation for a possible American invasion.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 4:29 AM EDT
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Thursday, 22 July 2004



The Senate Committee investigating 9-11 says the intelligence community is a shambles and that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. That's nothing new. They're the same organizations that wanted Kennedy to invade Cuba after the Bay of Pigs. He said "No". At that time they told us that there were no "weapons of mass destruction" in Cuba. Forty years later we find out they were wrong. The Russians had tactical nukes and the field commanders had the authority and intention of using them on our Marines when they hit the beach.

The difference is not in the intelligence of the agency, the difference is the intelligence of the person the agency give the intelligence to.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 7:30 AM EDT
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Thursday, 15 July 2004



Most of you have probably heard about the administration's campaign for a Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marraiges.

Now it's not that I really favor gay marraiges. In truth I don't understand them. But then I don't know a man including myself, who understand his wife either.

But from the government's viewpoint I guess if two gay people are deluded enough to want to pay money to the state to get a license believing they will become as deliriously happy as the rest of the sufferers I believe we should take their money. If they are as successful as the rest of us we'll see half of `em again in a couple of years wanting to get themselves un-licensed in divorce court. And that's another money maker.

And then they can turn around and do it all over again just like us sane folks do. Meawhile the money just keeps rolling in.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:20 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 14 July 2004



Having raised the specter of rescheduling of the Fall Presidential election in case of a terrorist attack and then reading the polls, the administration is now taking a hiatus from election date roulette. Seems it didn't fly well with the citizenry.

A lot of Democrats concluded the Republicans wanted to move the date about four years. Too bad they didn't go ahead with it. It could have invigorated the campaigns. Might even have brought on an old fashioned riot or two.

Oh well. Guess we'll have to return to the old standbys: the war, the economy and incompetence. Course, after a while even that gets old.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:12 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 14 July 2004 8:14 AM EDT
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