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Don Burns Homepage
Friday, 21 May 2004



Just when you thought the Iraqi prisoner abuse one ring circus was about to end, the government surprises us with two more rings. A CIA prison abuse scandal at another prison in Iraq and an investigation and bodies at the prisons in Afghanistan.

This administration is truly a marvel to watch. For sheer drama, variety and entertainment value it turns anything that's been done by Disney, Marvel Comics and Moses combined, on its head.

In Washington's Magic Kingdom the Sorcerer's Apprentice, Don Rumsfield, is running the military like a Stalag 13 theme park.
Meanwhile, the Emperor (and nominal President) "G.I. George" keeps his clothes on, while his new subjects in Iraq can't.
And as for "The Shadow" (a.k.a. vice-President and secret head of the world) Dick Cheney, he "knows what evil lurks in the minds of men", after all, as a former Defense Secretary, self nominating committee and draft avoider he "created" them in his own image.

With action heroes like this, who needs toy soldiers?



Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:44 AM EDT
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Thursday, 20 May 2004



Ever notice how all the Conservatives on the right and all the Liberals on the left seem to have all of the answers but never seem to solve any of the problems.

That's because it's their answers that created the problems to begin with and then they leave it for all the rest of us that are left in the middle to fix it and pay for it.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:47 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 21 May 2004 8:49 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 18 May 2004



Pump shock seems to be settling in across the country with gas prices topping well over two bucks a gallon except in the South and Texas, that is. There it's only a dollar sixty five. Leaves one to wonder what the rest of the country did wrong.

Obviously the price increase can't be blamed on the cheap oil from Iraq that was supposed to pay for the war, because it ain't cheap. Apparently it's the expensive oil from Iraq that we are paying top dollar for to pay for the war that we thought we already paid for once. Those profits are going to Iraq to rebuild the infrastructure that we blew up and to fix the lights still don't work in Baghdad because the $187 billion we already spent hasn't done the job. But the administration has already asked for another $25 billion to make it all work......again......for another month or so.......we hope.............maybe.



Posted by donburnshomepage at 1:47 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 18 May 2004 2:54 PM EDT
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Thursday, 13 May 2004



The drama on the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal continues to draw comments. The latest to weigh in is "the Grand Pooba of Critical Commentary", Rush Limbaugh. His take on it is that this "latest broo ha ha" is nothing worse than a good old college fraternity initiation, which leaves me to wonder where he went to college.

Having never belonged to a fraternity and not having ever been interested in learning how to wear my underwear on my head while being chained to cell bars in my birthday suit I'm sort of ignorant on the finer points of college frat life, but based on Mr. Limbaugh's assessment and apparent inside knowledge of such things , I don't believe I'm any worse off for having missed out on one of his toga parties.

Perhaps as an amends and compensation to his new Iraqi fraternity brothers he can get his alma mater to issue them the same degree he has and he can pick up the tab when they all get together for a few beers at the class reunion at Buchenwald.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 6:52 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 21 May 2004 8:55 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 12 May 2004



They seem to be rather somber at the White House this week. The "Photos from Iraq" Exibition is touring the Congress, the country and the military courts.

The reelection campaign has hit some snags too. Seems the more money the Bush reelection campaign spends comparing Senator Kerry to President Bush on their records, the better Senator Kerry seems to do in the polls. It's gotten so bad Kerry's campaign is considering making contributions to the Bush campaign to get more of the pro Bush ads on tv.

And the latest beheading of an American civilian in Iraq has not helped promote the idea of the safe, prosperous and democratic Iraq we are supposed to be building.

Even the President just does not seem to be having as much fun these days.

Do you suppose he's finally figured out what that "mistake was that he says he thinks he must have made sometime but couldn't remember what it was" at his last press conference might be?.......................................................................Nah!




Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:03 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 12 May 2004 9:09 AM EDT
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Monday, 10 May 2004



According to the latest numbers the federal government has pulled about $190 billion in financial aid away from the states and the federal surplus is now a federal deficit in the billions of dollars. Coincidentally, they have spent somewhere between $200 and $300 Billion in Iraq over the past year and are asking for more.

This money cannot be for the war because that ended over a year ago with the President's "Mission Accomplished" victory celebration on the aircraft carrier and according to the White House the war was only going to cost a few billion dollars anyway.
It can't be to rebuild the country because all the Iraqi oil that we are paying over $2 a gallon for is supposed to do that.
And obviously it hasn't been used for Iraqi prison reform.

So where is all the money going? According to the President, it's being used to fight the "War on Terror" which at the moment has suddenly "appeared" in liberated Iraq.

Also according to the administration, the President has taken a two pronged approach to the "War on Terror".

One: Blow up stuff in foriegn countries so that we can send American money to rebuild it with "independent" workers from the nation of Halliburton and send American troops to guard what we rebuild so that the people we are rebuilding it for don't blow it up

AND

Two: Take money away from our own infrastructure so that it eventually falls apart and there will be nothing here to blow up, if and when the terrorists ever arrive.

It's the classic "reverse upside down backwards carrot and stick strategy" from the upcoming book, "Don Rumsfield's Military Field Cookbook ". It's a great recipe for something and it makes all kinds of sense.............................in Washington and Texas.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:27 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 10 May 2004 8:47 AM EDT
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Friday, 7 May 2004



Defense Secretary Don Rumsfield is scheduled to testify in front of Congress today and tell them "who knew what they did when they didn't know what who was doing when it happened that wasn't known about when that prisoner thing in Iraq got done". The President will echo his sentiments, but not try to repeat them word for word.

When it is all over the Congress will at least be as well informed as they were two months ago. The six American patriots who turn in to Fox News to watch the hearing will be dazzled. The President will be as confident as he was before that he is doing the right thing, whatever it is. And this will all turn out to just be a "misunderstanding". The White House will issue a press release that we will accept the apology of the Iraqi people on behalf of the President, Don Rumsfield will "outsource" more American troops to Iraq to make them feel more secure and the President will announce another tax cut to pay for it.

Meanwhile, the rest of us will go to work and try to get something done.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:52 AM EDT
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Thursday, 6 May 2004



Well it's taken about a week to get over the shock but by now just about everyone has seen the "pictures from the prison" showing American troops humiliating Iraqi prisoners by posing them in their birthday suits in various stages of denigrating behavior.

Most people are appalled, some aren't surprised, a few like Don Imus see it as no big deal, but then neither is he.

As for me, what I'd really like to know is:

Where was John Ashcroft when you really needed him? Off covering up statues when he could have been covering up photographs.

Where was Janet Jackson? Off fixing her clothes when she could have gotten herself another surprise cameo.

Where was Howard Stern? Off the air when he could have been doing the play by play.

Where was the administration? Off campaigning in Ohio for "four more years" of "the same old stuff" when they could have been in another group photo with the troops.

Seems like life is just a parade of missed opportunities.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:59 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 6 May 2004 9:04 AM EDT
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Thursday, 29 April 2004



Well the latest Presidential polls are in and the winner is.........BOTH. Yep, head to head its Kerry by a nose. Head to head to head, with head number three being Ralph Nader, it's Bush by a nose hair.

Seems Nader pulls about 5% of the vote at Kerry's expense and that's enough to tip the scales to Bush. Deja vue all over us all over again.

So let the spending circus begin. Start the debates on the Electoral College. Get the Supreme Court back to their crib sheets from the last election and God help the voters.

About the only person that's going to have any fun with this game is going to be Ralph Nader. He can say what he wants, hardly spend a dime, determine the outcome of the election and never have to live with the nightmare of having to get the job. That's a pretty good trick in anybody's book.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 10:53 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 28 April 2004




Listened to some General give a press briefing this morning about the defensive response of the Coalition to the attack by some guerrillas in Fallujah overnight. The defensive response strongly resembled a miniature version of the raid on Dresden and we are now in the process of defensively invading and occupying the area we had obliterated........ we being the Coalition. No Americans here. Just Coalition Forces. Seemed to be the only words he knew were Coalition, Coalition and Coalition.

What I'm troubled by is that we as Americans seem to have been taken over by some nebulous group called "the Coalition". While it is American troops, American planes and helicopters, American tanks, American firepower and American casualties that we see on the news each day, they are always referred to as the Coalition did this, the Coalition did that. The Americans it seems can't do anything, except dying, but what the Coalition takes the credit for it.

So I think I've figured it out. When this whole mess goes belly up and down the tubes, Washington can say "the Coalition made us do it". Nobody will find anybody who was in charge of the missing Coalition. Don Rumsfield can claim things like "plausable implausability", " credible incredibility" and "compassionate conservatism" to explain what happened.......And then we can blame it all on the French .



Posted by donburnshomepage at 4:33 PM EDT
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