Well, we found President Cheney. I had been concerned that George W. had been running around giving speeches without adult supervision and wondered where Dick was when we need him. Turns out he's been hiding in Iraq. Probably reviewing their waterboarding techniques to make sure it continues to not really be torture.
He says the whole place is stabilized now with only 43 people being killed today by a suicide bomber. Apparently that's an improvement. Here it would be a catastrophe but if Dick has solved Iraq's problems maybe it's time to come home and devote some time to ours.
He could start with the oil companies. Whoops, he is the oil companies. Maybe he could help with the housing foreclosures. Aw forgot, he gets free housing. Probably not his hot button. Could do the economy, but.......he's already rich and those folks usually get richer if the roof caves in on the rest of us.
On second thought maybe he should just stay in Iraq and continue to save us from Osama baLama, or whatever his name is. Been looking for him so long I can't even remember how to say his name. He's probably hiding out with Hitler in Argentina. I understand there are some people still looking for that one too.
